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Whatever happened to courting?

The art of courting, a process in which people meet socially and assess their sustainability as a potential long-term partner, has become increasingly obsolete in recent years. Concepts such as ‘Netflix and Chill’ and ‘Imax before climax’ (yes that is a real thing) have contributed to the decline of formal dating and courting, as it was previously known, appears to be a thing of the past. Becoming romantically involved has never been as easily accessible, so why has the dating game become so complicated? We asked some of you why you think this is the case and rounded up a few reasons why you think the idea of formal dating has become increasingly irrelevant in today’s society.

couple-1299491_960_720Internet Dating

Singularly revolutionising the way in which we date, internet dating allows both sexes to be incredibly choosey; if a date ends badly, they can simply log back into their chosen website and introduce themselves to another prospective date. There’s no room for playing games with this contemporary form of dating since, should you appear disinterested or confused, there are thousands of other singles available at the click of a button. If you do risk playing a game, you may find yourself playing alone.

The hifting of women’s priorities

Women, once scouring their towns for potential husbands as teenagers, are now more concerned with educating themselves and forging impressive careers before even considering marriage. Women are continually fighting for equality in the workplace, in education and in the household and the idea of aspiring to become a housewife is seen to contradict this fight. Quite simply, setting up house is not a priority for women in their twenties and there is often a satirical judgement on those that choose this path.

People are wanting to cling onto their youth
Unquestionably, there is an undercurrent in society of ‘the Peter Pan effect.’ People don’t want to grow up and face adulthood and so formal dating has seemingly been replaced with casual flings. Dating with the potential of more (e.g marriage, families etc.) is no longer desired as more people than ever are scared of commitment.

Promiscuity is the norm

Quite rightly so, women are more liberated than ever before and are free to act in any way they wish without fear of judgement. This is an incredible move forward for society as a whole with a consequence, albeit unintentional, being the general attitudes towards sex. A laboratory supervisor, Beverley McAndrews, who processes results for sexually transmitted diseases announced that the number of positive results has increased wildly in recent years. In truth, casual sex is a part of everyday life with innuendos present everywhere you look.

Nowadays, men and women who are attempting courtship are doing so in a world where the entire concept of it is irrelevant. It is an archaic concept that does not fit with society and ones preference for Netflix and chill, a spontaneous commitment free hook-up, over formal dating demonstrates so.

These are just some of the most common reasons we came across when asking our readers in a recent survey, however if you think otherwise we’d love to hear your thoughts.. Who or what is to blame for the lack of chivalry and courtship? Do we as a society simply don’t care for it any more?


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The UK's first Career & Lifestyle Magazine for women in the Creative and Media industries.

One thought on “Whatever happened to courting? Leave a comment

  1. Well written piece, it leaves a lot to think about for today’s women .
    After being divorced with two children I was determined to do the old fashioned courtship routine . Get to know the person inside and out and build a relationship on trust , friendship and also independence . I had a good career , had worked hard for my home and given the children the best I could so I wanted my relationship to work .
    We saw each other twice a week which worked around my children and his children and our commitment to them . We took time before the children met each other too .
    As time went by all seemed to gel well but there were some hiccups and hurdles along the way .
    We courted for two years before we got engaged and then married a year later . Then he moved in .
    There was only one of my children living at home then .
    We have been married 11 years and together 14 now .
    We have different hobbies and some we do together.
    Our relationship is based on mutual trust and commitment . We both will speak out if we are not happy about something and always sort things out . We are happy to grow old together and watch as our children grow into their lives and relationships .
    Good old fashioned courtship worked for us .

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